I was recently having a trying time, and a friend asked me if he could do me a favor.  I answered sure, but only if he wanted to. He said he was more than willing, and that was why he had asked if he could help. I told him that there’s a difference between being willing to and wanting to.

That is one of the core ideas of being enlightened.

Here’s an example. Most of us learned that telling a lie is always “bad” and that if you can’t say anything good, you shouldn’t say anything at all. Now imagine this: What if you know for a fact though that telling the truth to someone will cause them to feel excessive pain, and a lie won’t hurt them at all? What do you do? If you tell them the truth, and the truth hurts them excessively, is it right to help them feel that pain? What if telling them a lie saves them from feeling any of that pain?  Alternatively, they will not be hurt at all from the lie? Notice the emotions you feel as you think about this scenario.

Those emotions are directly related to your survival programs. You learned those programs. Your brain now thinks that what you learned is a fundamental part of your identity. Thus, if you go against those programs, you’re breaking a part of your self-image. Unfortunately, no matter which option you choose, that decision will threatens your sense of self-approval. Do you want to tell the truth and let the truth hurt someone unnecessarily, and you feel guilty for telling them something painful? Or do you want to lie and feel all the guilt from telling a lie? Now let me reframe those two questions. Are you willing to tell someone the truth even though that truth will cause them optional emotional pain? Or are you ready to lie and save them the suffering while knowing you will feel excessive guilt for withholding the truth?

What we are willing to do and what we want to do can be very different things.  Most people act on the emotional pressures wrapped around these two ideas. Whichever idea creates or relieves the most pressure will decide for you. I’d also like to suggest that you’ll end up doing what you’re willing to do but not necessarily what you want to do. It takes a strong sense of self to do what we want, every time, because it’s so easy to do what we’re willing to do, which is much more comfortable.

My friend decided it was a good idea to sit in the discomfort of the warring emotions he was experiencing for some time. He let them percolate down to his authentic desires; in other words, what he really, Really REALLY wanted. What he really, Really, REALLY wanted was to go home and rest because he was exhausted. He did the right thing for him. He glimpsed who he really, Really, REALLY is and what he really, Really, REALLY wanted. With that knowledge, he could live the life he wanted to live. I believe that is the only way any of us should live.

What do you really, Really, REALLY want? The Universe made us exactly the way it wants us to be. We are made in the image and likeness of God. However, we learned our programs. The emotions we experience are the way we can see them at work. Fortunately, we can also see through them. If we feel an emotion, we know immediately that a program for survival is running. Then we can choose what we really, Really, REALLY want or just what we’re willing to do. Either way, we are choosing our life without our programs controlling us. We are living in the freedom of enlightenment.

If you have any thoughts about this concept, please share them with me by writing to me here.