Coins, God’s Spare Change for My Benefit
Words & Video > My Reflections
Coins, God’s Spare Change for My Benefit
A picture of 750 coins that I have found since May 2009. Thursday late in May of '09. I'd been living with depression and anxiety for five months. I'd seen my income fall by over $20,000 and I was hurting financially.
It was a Thursday in late May of 2009. I'd been living with deep depression and anxiety for five months by that point, and it was killing me. With the recession, I'd seen my income fall by over $20,000 already, and I was hurting financially. I mention it was Thursday because I had a significant bill due on Friday at 5 pm. On that Thursday, I was already spinning out of control emotionally. I worried about the impending bill and no money with which to pay it.
In those early days of my depression era, I found that walking gave me some relief from the encompassing darkness. So, I walked, …a lot! And that Thursday was no exception. I took off on my favorite path to fret, worry, moan, curse God, and burn off some of the rage that I felt at the world.
In my neighborhood, everyone has at least an acre or more, and there are no sidewalks. The community is also not a busy place, so there are rarely people about on our streets. I mention this because it factors high in this story.
I was about a block away from my house, and I was getting a good steam built up to lay on God and the Universe about how unhappy I felt. I was also worried sick about my credit rating and my credibility as I "knew" I'd never be able to pay that $2025 bill due the next afternoon. In other words, the blackness of depression and anxiety was very palpable in my heart that afternoon.
I was walking on the street between two fields. I wasn't near any driveways, but ironically, I was near a big rock on the side of the road. I was staring at the ground and cursing. All of a sudden, a dime entered my field of vision. I stopped. Why would a dime be out here in the middle of nowhere, lying in the street? I thought. I looked around the asphalt for more coins. I noticed the big rock, but I found no other change. For a brief second, a blink of an eye, honestly, a thought floated through the ink in my soul. Does this coin mean God will pay my big bill the next day? Then the cloud of anxiety wrapped itself around my mind, and the thought was gone. I walked on.
An hour later, about 4:30 in the afternoon, I got near my home, and I saw the mail van delivering my mail. However, as I expected, there was nothing in my mailbox.
Friday hit like a nuclear bomb. The anxiety was so intense I was rendered too weak to even move out of my chair. I sat staring out the window of my studio for hours that day, just watching the clock tick ever closer to 5 pm and the dreaded hour I was sure my life would end. At 3:48, the anxiety was too much to sit still in, and I decided to go for a walk again. I left my place heading down the street the same way as the day before.
A few minutes later, I could see the big rock and remembered finding the dime the day before. I reached the same area I'd found the other coin in, and, of course, there was no dime. However, there was a nickel! Heads up and plain as day in the light were the words, In God We Trust!
This time the thought that, just maybe, God will take care of the bill lingered in my mind for 2 or 3 seconds. Then the depression and anxiety took over again. I continued on my dark walk.
An hour later, I was close to my house, and the mail van was again pulling away. I went over to collect my mail. There was an envelope from a client, and inside there appeared to be a check. This client didn't owe me any money, so I was sure I'd just misjudged the contents. However, when I opened it, there was a check for $2040! Stuck to it was a note from the client saying he'd been paid upfront for a job, so for the first time in 15 years of doing business with me, he was going to pay me upfront!
That felt like a real miracle!
It turns out that check was the first of many. For the next eight months, around the same time each month, a similar event happened. Somehow – never in the same way – the bill was paid when there was no money to pay it. I eventually decided that God or the Universe was going to find a way to take care of the bills if I allowed it.
As I trusted God, the money would be there for the bills. So my mind decided it would spend more time worrying about other things which it had no control over. Somehow my failing marriage, the impending bankruptcy that divorce would force me into, taking care of my daughter in college, and my son who lived at home with me plus other stresses took over my mind even though I also had no power to change them.
However, every time I spun up into a panic over some event related to my crashing marriage, my depression, or taking care of my kids, I'd go for a walk and find a coin. …Or two or five.
That is where the story is now, June 3, 2014.
So far, I have found 740 coins, three 1 dollar bills and one 20 pence coin from England since that first coin in late May 2009. I still carry the first nickel I found with me as a memento of the wondrous journey I've been on since I started to wake up.
Coins are just the way I see God at work in my Universe, even when I don't need a miracle. They turn up at extraordinary times and places reminding me that I have a place in the Universe. When I find a coin, I choose to say and feel that I'm right where I'm supposed to be at that moment in time. They are not a treasure of financial value. Instead, they are a gift of my importance to the Universe. I put this meaning on the coins; I am so valuable to God that God leaves coins for me all over my daily path.
I suppose God chose coins because I tend to worry about money a lot. What better way to get my attention than coins? Thus, if you're feeling left out in God's daily gifts to humanity, look at the thing that worries you most. You'll probably find your metaphorical coins right there. You're that important to God. I have 740 coins to prove it!
Here are a few of the coins and a quick description of when I found them.
I found this dollar coin sitting on an off-ramp from the highway. I could see something shiny, three cars in front of me. I got out of my car, walked up to the bright spot, and there it was.
I found this coin as I followed my son into the restaurant on the day I told him his parents were spitting up. I had to dig it out of the asphalt, and I took it to mean that this wasn't going to be easy, but it would all work out.
A quarter I found at the bottom of a stream. I have no idea how I saw it.
I frequently find in coins in the street as I'm stopped at intersecetions.
I found this English coin in an alley behind a grocery store.
I found this bent penny sticking up from a crack in the street as I was pulling out of a parking lot.
Continuing the story on February 26, 2020.
I now have over 1500 coins that I have found since that day in May 2009. I call them God's Change. These coins even sparked the creative flow that resulted in my second book, Life Is a Lazy Susan. By watching myself, my mind, and what I was paying attention to, I have learned that I don't often see things if I'm not looking for them. Wayne Dyer says it best this way (my paraphrase), "What we think about expands." If I look for coins, I find them. If I stay open and search for opportunities, I find them. And if I close my mind off and I stop looking for possibilities, the opportunities disappear from my view. Thus, I have learned that, no matter how difficult it feels, staying open and aware provides me with the most exceptional opportunities.
God's Spare Change is everywhere. It doesn't have to be coins that you find. Some of my clients have talked about sticks, leaves, paper clips, coupons, and kind words at challenging times. No matter what it is, I believe you will receive messages from the Universe telling you you're on the right path... if you stay open to receiving them. If you feel as if you never receive messages from the Ultimate Reality, contact me. Let's begin your journey of learning to see the love notes from the Universe. Please contact me here.
First posted June 3, 2014
Added to February 26, 2020
Dear Friend,
Self-Compassion is a skill we tend to learn faster when we learn together. Please sign up for my newsletter, and together, let's create better lives for ourselves. I will only send out a few emails a year.
Thank you.
