Creating Self-Compassion: A Class To Learn How to Treat Yourself
Classes & Resources
Self-Compassion is treating yourself the way you genuinely want to treat yourself.
Blair Ashby
You genuinely want to treat yourself well,
especially when life is hard,
or you feel backed into a corner.
However, the voices in your head usually win;
they yell at you, criticize you, and make you feel bad.
How can you change this?
Creating Self-Compassion
An eight-week class that will help you learn and create the habits of treating yourself the way you genuinely want to treat yourself.
I invite you to learn, practice with group support, and implement the skills of caring for yourself the way you want to care for yourself, truly.
Consciously create your life beginning with this class
- Each class will last eight weeks, meeting once a week for one-hour sessions.
- Each class will be $96 per person for one to four participants—for example, you and three friends.
- If your group has more than four people, each additional participant will also be $96. Please contact me here to organize larger classes, though.
- We will set a mutually agreeable regular meeting date for our weekly class sessions.
- Classes must have two or more participants enrolled.
We Tend to Feel Dissatisfied
This seems strange because most of us are surviving just fine. We have good jobs, a nice place to live, and family and friends that we love and love us. Yet, even with all the trappings of the modern age, we still feel unsatisfied with our lives.
Dissatisfaction in life can take the form of feeling unworthy, feeling empty, feeling bored with life, or simply restlessness for the next thing with the hidden hope that this time it’ll satisfy us. Yet, no matter what we try, we never find the magic answer, the perfect potion, or the ability to accept ourselves without voices of judgment ringing in our heads.
This class will offer you some tools and skills to help you navigate through the persistent voices in your head, unsatisfied feelings in your body, and self-criticisms that fill your days. The key is navigating instead of avoiding. This class will also help you with learning the skill of compassionate mental navigation.
Self-compassion comprises several skills bundled into one name. Those skills are Awareness, Acceptance, Discernment, and Letting Go, and generally, they are easier to learn with the support of other people experiencing similar situations.
Like my previous classes, we will begin each session with wire building to learn together and from each other. We will discuss the triggers we experienced during the last week and their consequences on our life’s satisfaction. Then I will end each session with a short talk about a new skill we can practice in the following week. The goal is to become aware of the triggers we experience that precede unnecessary suffering. Then, practicing our responses will help us navigate each situation in our minds and daily lives.
Completing the class Creating Self-Discipline is required to participate in this class. Please click here to learn about Creating Self-Discipline
Register for this class and begin loving yourself in the way you want to be loved. After you register, please write to me by clicking here, and let’s find mutually agreeable times to schedule your eight-week class.
Register for Creating Self-Compassion
WHEN:
We will meet at a mutually agreed upon time once per week for eight weeks. After you register, please write to me by clicking here, and let’s find agreeable times to schedule your eight-week class.
What:
(click on the class title if you want more information about one particular class)
- Class 1 – Self-Compassion Is Treating Yourself the Way You Want to Treat Yourself.
- Class 2 - Set an Intention to Care For Yourself,
- Class 3 - Cultivate Faith and Patience With Your Brain’s Processes and Resources.
- Class 4 - Identify Your Triggers and Their Reactive Mental Survival Modes.
- Class 5 – Watch Your Language!
- Class 6 - Set Your Boundaries, Cultivate Your Responses, and Choose Your Suffering.
- Class 7 - Work With Your Body’s Moods and Resources.
- Class 8 - Congratulations! You’ve Established A Self-Compassionate Discipline.
WHERE:
Live online via Zoom, a free video-conferencing software.
Please visit this page for instructions for setting up Zoom: Set up Zoom
WHO:
This course is for any adult who:
- Feels exhausted with the automatic reactions their brain generates.
- Wants to retrain their mind to respond with wisdom.
- Wants to create their life with the least amount of unnecessary suffering.
- Has completed Created Self-Discipline or Learning How to Meditate (coming soon).
Register for Creating Self-Compassion
Here's More Info
Here is a simple outline that I’ll use to guide each class. However, if a topic comes up during wire building that the participants want to explore further, we will go deeper into that chosen subject.
I have built my classes upon active learning. In other words, we will put the lessons into practical use. We’ll start with Wire Building in each session, and then I’ll give a short talk. Throughout all this, we’ll enjoy group discussions to absorb and process what we have learned. Lastly, I’ll offer an awareness activity to do outside of the class sessions, so you continue to practice and learn during the week.
For a more in-depth look at each session. Below is an outline that I will use to guide our meetings. Please know, I constantly update this outline to represent the newest information I have. Thus, the outline for our class session may differ slightly from this one.
Class 1Self-Compassion istreating yourselfthe way you wantto treat yourself.
Class 1Self-Compassion istreating yourselfthe way you wantto treat yourself.
An introduction to the class and the points we will cover in the class.
- An introduction to the class and the points we will cover in the class.
- Class 1 – Self-Compassion Is Treating Yourself the Way You Want to Treat Yourself.
- Class 2 - Set an Intention to Care For Yourself,
- Class 3 - Cultivate Faith and Patience With Your Brain’s Processes and Resources.
- Class 4 - Identify Your Triggers and Their Reactive Mental Survival Modes.
- Class 5 – Watch Your Language!
- Class 6 - Set Your Boundaries, Cultivate Your Responses, and Choose Your Suffering.
- Class 7 - Work With Your Body’s Moods and Resources.
- Class 8 - Congratulations! You’ve Established A Self-Compassionate Discipline.
- Meditation is to Recognize; Contemplation is to Cultivate.
- Open Awareness Meditation
End the Session with Wire Building
- What did you notice in your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors?
- What happened? What was the trigger?
- What did you feel immediately after the trigger?
- What is the reality? Try to see beyond the narrative in your mind.
- What do you really, Really, REALLY want in this situation?
- How did your daily contemplation go?
Homework
- Meditate Every day for 20 Minutes.
- Use 2-10 minutes in Open Awareness Meditation
- Try out different contemplation possibilities and possibly establish a multiple-times-a-week dedicated contemplation practice.
Class Two:Set an Intention to Care for Yourself.
Start with Wire Building
From this session until the end of the class, all classes will begin with Wire Building.
- What did you notice in your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors?
- What happened? What was the trigger?
- What did you feel immediately after the trigger?
- What is the reality? Try to see beyond the narrative in your mind.
- What do you really, Really, REALLY want in this situation?
- How did your daily contemplation go?
Talk: Awareness - Set an Intention to Care for Yourself.
- A Story: The Buddha and the Mustard Seed
- Set an intention to navigate the changes in your life with a minimum of unnecessary suffering.
- What is intention?
- Set your intention on allowing your mind to explore possibilities without the automatic judgments dictating decisions on those possibilities.
- Open Awareness is an excellent practice for this skill.
- Blair’s walk with the intention of a career a day for thirty days.
Setting Yourself Up for Success
- Notice when you feel positive about what you have accomplished.
- Plan on how you’ll handle the next trigger.
- Use Triggers for your benefit.
- Create Habits that Support You in Your Goals
Homework:
- Meditate Every day for 20 Minutes.
- Use 2-10 minutes in Open Awareness Meditation
- Continue to explore or do your multiple-times-a-week dedicated contemplation practice. Try to do 30 minutes or more three times this week.
Class Three:Our Survival and Our Sense of Survival
Start with Wire Building
- What did you notice in your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors?
- What happened? What was the trigger?
- What did you feel immediately after the trigger?
- What is the reality? Try to see beyond the narrative in your mind.
- What do you really, Really, REALLY want in this situation?
- How did your daily contemplation go?
Talk: Faith and Patience with Your Brain’s Process
- Your brain will take time to grow the wires for self-compassion.
- Your brain will probably experience reactions to triggers.
- Negative – Attachments, Expectations, Meanings, Grief.
- Positive – Benefits and Advantages.
- Practicing Open Acceptance of your positive and negative thoughts and feelings will aid you in suffering less.
- Blair’s Three Spiritual Guidelines
Setting Yourself Up for Success
- Notice you feel positive about what you have accomplished.
- Plan on how you’ll handle the next trigger.
- Use Triggers for your benefit.
Homework:
- Meditate Every day for 20 Minutes.
- Use 2-10 minutes in Open Awareness Meditation
- Continue to explore or do your multiple-times-a-week dedicated contemplation practice. Try to do 30 minutes or more three times this week.
Class Four:Identify Your Triggers and Their Reactive Mental Survival Modes.
Identify Your Triggers and Their Reactive Mental Survival Modes.
Start with Wire Building
- What did you notice in your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors?
- What happened? What was the trigger?
- What did you feel immediately after the trigger?
- What is the reality? Try to see beyond the narrative in your mind.
- What do you really, Really, REALLY want in this situation?
- How did your daily contemplation go?
Talk: Identify Your Triggers and Their Reactive Mental Survival Modes.
- Triggers happen continually.
- If we can recognize triggers, we can plan our responses.
Setting Yourself Up for Success
- Notice you feel positive about what you have accomplished.
- Plan on how you’ll handle the next trigger.
- Use Triggers for your benefit.
Homework:
- Meditate Every day for 20 Minutes.
- Use 2-10 minutes in Open Awareness Meditation
- Continue to explore or do your multiple-times-a-week dedicated contemplation practice. Try to do 30 minutes or more three times this week.
Class Five:Watch Your Language!
Watch Your Language!
Start with Wire Building
- What did you notice in your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors?
- What happened? What was the trigger?
- What did you feel immediately after the trigger?
- What is the reality? Try to see beyond the narrative in your mind.
- What do you really, Really, REALLY want in this situation?
- How did your daily contemplation go?
Talk: Watch Your Language!
- The words that you speak will tell you about the thoughts roaming around in the back of your mind.
Setting Yourself Up for Success
- Notice you feel positive about what you have accomplished.
- Plan on how you’ll handle the next trigger.
- Use Triggers for your benefit.
Homework:
- Meditate Every day for 20 Minutes.
- Use 2-10 minutes in Open Awareness Meditation
- Continue to explore or do your multiple-times-a-week dedicated contemplation practice. Try to do 30 minutes or more three times this week.
Class Six:
Set Your Boundaries,
Cultivate Your Responses,
and Choose Your Suffering.
Set Your Boundaries,
Cultivate Your Responses,
and Choose Your Suffering.
Start with Wire Building
- What did you notice in your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors?
- What happened? What was the trigger?
- What did you feel immediately after the trigger?
- What is the reality? Try to see beyond the narrative in your mind.
- What do you really, Really, REALLY want in this situation?
- How did your daily contemplation go?
Talk: Set Your Boundaries, Cultivate Your Responses, and Choose Your Suffering.
Set Your Boundaries, Cultivate Your Responses, and Choose Your Suffering.
Setting Yourself Up for Success
- Notice you feel positive about what you have accomplished.
- Plan on how you’ll handle the next trigger.
- Use Triggers for your benefit.
Homework:
- Meditate Every day for 20 Minutes.
- Use 2-10 minutes in Open Awareness Meditation
- Continue to explore or do your multiple-times-a-week dedicated contemplation practice. Try to do 30 minutes or more three times this week.
Class Seven:
Work With Your Body’s Moods and Resources.
Work With Your Body’s Moods and Resources.
Start with Wire Building
- What did you notice in your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors?
- What happened? What was the trigger?
- What did you feel immediately after the trigger?
- What is the reality? Try to see beyond the narrative in your mind.
- What do you really, Really, REALLY want in this situation?
- How did your daily contemplation go?
Talk: Work With Your Body’s Moods and Resources.
- It’s okay to feel.
- Happy, Sad, Grouchy? Work with it.
- Set up responses for whatever mood you’re experiencing.
Setting Yourself Up for Success
- Notice you feel positive about what you have accomplished.
- Plan on how you’ll handle the next trigger.
- Use Triggers for your benefit.
Homework:
- Meditate Every day for 20 Minutes.
- Use 2-10 minutes in Open Awareness Meditation
- Continue to explore or do your multiple-times-a-week dedicated contemplation practice. Try to do 30 minutes or more three times this week.
Class Eight: Congratulations!
You’ve Established a
Self-Compassionate Discipline.
Class Eight:
You’ve Established a
Self-Compassionate Discipline.
Start with Wire Building
- What did you notice in your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors?
- What happened? What was the trigger?
- What did you feel immediately after the trigger?
- What is the reality? Try to see beyond the narrative in your mind.
- What do you really, Really, REALLY want in this situation?
- How did your daily contemplation go?
Talk: Congratulations! You’ve Established a Self-Compassionate Discipline.
- Here is what you have experienced in this class.
- Class 1 – Self-Compassion Is Treating Yourself the Way You Want to Treat Yourself.
- Class 2 - Set an Intention to Care For Yourself,
- Class 3 - Cultivate Faith and Patience With Your Brain’s Processes and Resources.
- Class 4 - Identify Your Triggers and Their Reactive Mental Survival Modes.
- Class 5 – Watch Your Language!
- Class 6 - Set Your Boundaries, Cultivate Your Responses, and Choose Your Suffering.
- Class 7 - Work With Your Body’s Moods and Resources.
- Class 8 - Congratulations! You’ve Established A Self-Compassionate Discipline.
- Meditation is to Recognize; Contemplation is to Cultivate.
- Open Awareness Meditation
- Now, take the positive habit of self-compassion that you have created and begin enjoying the life that you want. Continue to practice awareness and cultivation so you can constantly readjust your life’s trajectory when you feel you’ve missed your goals.
- I believe in you!
Setting Yourself Up for Success
- Notice you feel positive about what you have accomplished.
- Plan on how you’ll handle the next trigger.
- Use Triggers for your benefit.
- Test your beliefs. Learn and grow.
Homework:
- Meditate Every day for 20 Minutes.
- Use 2-10 minutes in Open Awareness Meditation
- Continue to explore or do your multiple-times-a-week dedicated contemplation practice. Try to do 30 minutes or more three times per week.
Register for Creating Self-Compassion