I emphasize awareness as the first and most important skill to learn with all my students and clients. Whether we focus on creating life meaning for ourselves or personal communication with others, awareness is essential. Usually, within a few minutes after introducing the concept of awareness, someone asks me, “What should I be aware of?” This article will offer some information about awareness, its advantages, and suggestions on what we should be noticing. This article is not an exhaustive list of awareness highlights. Instead, it’s an in-depth introduction, and as you practice awareness, you’ll add your personal experiences to it.

As awareness is a skill that we develop individually, I cannot answer specifically for you. Instead, I can introduce you to some areas of your life to watch. As you watch, you’ll begin to recognize ways that you want to improve or transform. You’ll also notice thought patterns that seem to work for and against you, and you will see ways you can reach beyond those hindering mindsets. When you are ready to go further in your journey, please call me at 720-789-4000 or contact me here, and we will begin personal coaching.

A man searched for an answer, so he visited every wisdom center he could find and asked this question, “How do I make my life more meaningful and content?” He visited all the universities, schools, think tanks, ashrams, churches, mosques, monasteries, abbeys, synagogs, temples, holy people, psychologists, philosophers, and wise people in the world. He would ask his question at each location or to each person and, usually, quickly leave when the answer would be some theory, dogma, or conversion exercise. He wanted doable solutions that didn’t require beliefs in gods or unproven ideas.

Finally, he came to the last monastery listed in the Wisdom Centers Tourist Guide. He knocked on the front door. A hairy-faced older man opened the door and gestured for the searcher to come in and sit at a small table. The monk sat across from him. The man asked, “How do I make my life more meaningful and content?” The monk smiled ever so slightly, leaned back, stared at a corner of the ceiling for a minute, and then picked up a piece of paper and a pen. Slowly, he wrote something, folded the piece of paper, and handed it to the man.

The man opened the note and read: Pay Attention.

“What?” The man yelled. “Are you kidding me? I have traveled the world asking this question to every wise person at every wisdom center I can find. I have worn out seven pairs of boots on this search. And the best you can give me is, pay attention? You have to do better than that!” He threw the sheet of paper back at the monk with the last word and sat with a loud harrumph.

The monk’s eyes filled with a look of compassion. Then he bent down, retrieved the paper from the floor, unfolded it on the table, and sat quietly back. Again he stared up into a ceiling corner for a long time. Eventually, a small knowing smile formed on his mouth. He picked up his pen and, this time, wrote quickly. He then folded the sheet and handed it back to the man.

The man unfolded the note and read, “Pay Attention. Pay Attention.”

To answer this question, let’s begin with some physiology. Our brains are calory eating machines, and calories are a currency of survival. Thus, our brains try to save energy (calories) through autopilot, habits, and automatic reactions. Autopilot is a marvelous tool for energy conservation in our bodies. Yet, it also has some downsides.

One major drawback is that autopilot turns off our brain’s ability to notice and logically evaluate automatic reactions; we just do them; we don’t think about our actions’ short and long-term consequences.

Because we don’t think about the consequences, autopilot reactions limit our control. As mentioned above, when on autopilot, we react without rational thought. If we do not think rationally (even though it feels like we do) when we react, who or what controls us?

Research has shown, memories and past experiences drive our reactions. However, as history can’t rationally think, how well can it choose what is best for us today?

A large part of awareness is the process of observing all the overt and subtle thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that we experience. Suppose we can notice these mental, emotional, and physical reactions. In that case, we can evaluate our actions by how much they benefit or reduce our overall goals for each situation and our life’s meaning.

Reactions are fast; they are also based on past experiences. Thus, instead of reacting from similarities to our past, we probably garner more benefit if we navigate our current situations based on their current merits. Therefore, teaching our brains to pay attention to the current situation breaks past-based coping mechanisms and allows us to utilize our logical thought and reasoning to navigate our present-day situations. Awareness gives us power, especially in the present moment.

I mentioned earlier; reactions come from our past experiences and how we coped the last time we experienced a similar situation. So please notice, autopilot works from our past, our history, in other words, not the present moment.

History is important. It is an excellent predictor of current autopilot reactions. However, every situation is different, so we benefit if we keep reasoning brain power online in every situation, no matter how familiar it seems. Thus, awareness requires us to pay attention now.

Paying attention forces us into the present moment. Now the past can be a trusted advisor, and logical thought in the present moment can be the commander of our actions.

Imagine that in the past, a big dog chased you and bit your leg. Ten years later, you still won’t go anywhere near big dogs. You don’t visit parks, go on walks, take picnics, etc. Notice how the past built upon that memory is ruling your current life. Awareness gives you the ability to see that the former and scary experience is controlling your present life. If you notice that you live with memory-induced limitations, you can then choose to test those beliefs about big dogs in a non-threatening way. You may open up new possibilities for your life by moving beyond that history-based fear.

The gift of reality is a significant benefit of practicing awareness. We can see our autopilot reactions, and we can choose to see beyond them. If we decide to recognize our memory-based reactions, we begin to notice that what is happening now, the present moment, is usually very different from our past experiences. In other words, we begin to see and live in reality as it is happening.

I can imagine this doesn’t sound very exciting, so let’s look closer. If we notice it, our brain’s stories always make us the hero, the winner, the victim, etc. Our brains invent stories that make reality seem more exciting and more in our favor. In reality, though, we tend to lose that privileged position of being the star of the show. Additionally, the star-of-the-show that our brain invents tends to avoid being responsible for what happens in our life unless that responsibility feels good.

However, in real life--the way life genuinely is--we are 100% responsible for our life. Granted, we can’t control what the world hands us. We can control how we respond to those offerings, though. Awareness offers us the chance to shape and create our life by responding with logical reasonings to the present moment.

The man in the story earlier asked, “how can I make my life more meaningful and content?” That man understands that no matter what the world hands to him, he is responsible for how he uses it. Let’s use our daily experiences to give our lives meaning. We create our life’s purpose by our choices.